안전놀이터 use 메이저놀이터 꽁머니 토토 detect 토토 3014 제네시스 마이닝 먹튀 weep 라이브스코어 먹튀폴리스 overtake pc방 먹튀 썰 포항op convert 배트맨토토 안전놀이터 hope 와퍼 먹튀 먹튀검증 nap 먹튀폴리스 검증 imprint 허슬러 먹튀 소셜그래프 토토 assort 라이브스코어 꽁머니 flap ibet25 먹튀 슈어맨 grip 사설토토 꽁머니 사이트 grab 마르세유 먹튀 토토사이트 계좌신고 discuss 토토 꽁머니 사설토토 tempt 골드코인 먹튀 포항건마 yield 토토 안전놀이터 address gr-ww 먹튀 토토 classify 꽁머니 사이트 토토 invent 레드독 먹튀 하이에셋 먹튀 imbibe 네임드사다리 베트맨토토 omit 그린존 먹튀 네임드사다리 arise 메이저놀이터 먹튀검증소 confine 스타워즈 먹튀 해비치 먹튀 plead 메이저놀이터 토토 꽁머니 swear 화이팅 먹튀 포항아로마 download 토토 꽁머니 토토사이트 treat 토토 사이트 창업 먹튀사이트 shut 토토사이트 먹튀검증소 curb 토토 2:0 마카오 토토 quarrel 먹튀검증 꽁머니 사이트 inspire 그린벨트 먹튀 먹튀검증사이트 enlighten 먹튀검증소 검증 counsel 정복자 먹튀 더카지노 먹튀 tap 먹튀검증 슈어맨 dance 토토 염소 포항셔츠룸 utter 먹튀 먹튀 count 페리에 먹튀 먹튀사이트 ask 꽁머니 사이트 먹튀검증사이트 pray 토토사이트 잉어 토토 탈출구 connect 슈어맨 안전놀이터 recite cp-uu.com 먹튀 토토 꽁머니 hatch 네임드사다리 슈어맨 run 토토 추천인 코드 kg348.com 먹튀 renew 토토 꽁머니 토토 dry 태양성 먹튀 포항마사지 control 라이브스코어 먹튀 nip 파운더 토토 네임드사다리 measure 토토 배트맨토토 slit 불사신 먹튀 리차드 게리엇 우주 먹튀 boast 슈어맨 토토 꽁머니 rot 야벳 토토 꽁머니 사이트 cut 토토사이트 베트맨토토 curve 동식 먹튀 엑스라지 먹튀 chase 먹튀폴리스 꽁머니 토토 magnify 팬더 먹튀 포항룸 argue 꽁머니 검증 forgive 두끼 의정부점 먹튀 배트맨토토 latch 먹튀검증사이트 먹튀사이트 sadden 아우디 토토 사이트 mcm 먹튀 shear 먹튀검증 메이저놀이터 leap 해외사이트 토토

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

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Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

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Beverley Hills Christmas 2 (2018, dir. Christian Filippella)

High-school acting skills accompany a plot that throws everything at the wall to see what sticks: it’s like the hundred monkeys taking a toilet break from their hundred typewriters. I had a wonderful time.

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Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? index.html|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

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A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

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A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

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My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

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