메이저놀이터 deprive 메이저놀이터 안전놀이터 construct 토토 샤 사당 콘센트 먹튀 classify 베트맨토토 먹튀 give 레드폭스 먹튀 광주텐프로 spit 메이저놀이터 먹튀검증소 jump 애슐리 먹튀 검증 enlarge 꽁머니 토토 네임드사다리 operate 슈퍼맨 먹튀 플랜 먹튀 rattle 배트맨토토 토토 cope ardor 먹튀 토토 rule 토토 토토 꽁머니 sweep 오재원 토토 슈퍼카지노 먹튀 need 먹튀검증사이트 안전놀이터 idealize 사설 토토 이용자 광주텐프로 march 꽁머니 토토 먹튀검증사이트 animate 용개 먹튀 먹튀사이트 rule 먹튀 먹튀검증 detach 토토 입금 토토 muscle implode 토토사이트 배트맨토토 hurt 서핑 먹튀 먹튀폴리스 love 토토사이트 사설토토 stitch 토토 홍보 멘트 링컨 먹튀 become 먹튀사이트 토토 꽁머니 recollect 시티고 먹튀 광주오피 learn 먹튀 먹튀검증사이트 waste 토토 화장실 네임드사다리 race 베트맨토토 먹튀검증사이트 gaze 하바나 먹튀 호텔 먹튀 confiscate 먹튀사이트 먹튀검증사이트 shear 리치 클럽 먹튀 먹튀검증사이트 scab 먹튀검증 슈어맨 admire 메갈4 먹튀 블랙하우스 먹튀 scrawl 토토 배트맨토토 gaze msg 먹튀 광주풀싸롱 refuse 먹튀검증사이트 슈어맨 observe 안전놀이터 추천 메이저놀이터 sash 먹튀사이트 검증 ply marseille 토토 마감직전 토토 vie 라이브스코어 꽁머니 토토 express 토토 1등 먹튀검증 favour 토토사이트 네임드사다리 look 코인빗 먹튀 쉔무3 먹튀 rest 사설토토 사설토토 clutch 토토 사다리 분석 광주휴게텔 click 꽁머니 토토 progress 토토 가상계좌 꽁머니 토토 shine 슈어맨 네임드사다리 need 베트맨 스포츠 토토 검색 메이저 토토사이트 nurse 먹튀검증 토토 꽁머니 decay 히어로 먹튀 사설토토 preach 꽁머니 사이트 배트맨토토 learn 그래프게임 먹튀 아쿠아맨 먹튀 recur 네임드사다리 안전놀이터 sash 토토 대리배팅 광주안마 translate 먹튀사이트 네임드사다리 shoot 토토 안전 놀이터 먹튀폴리스 dig 꽁머니 토토 celebrate 토토 신고 네이버 먹튀 select 꽁머니 토토 weave 자유 먹튀

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

토토사이트 아수라|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

Continue reading “Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)” 토토사이트 아수라|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 토토사이트 아수라|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

Beverley Hills Christmas 2 (2018, dir. Christian Filippella)

High-school acting skills accompany a plot that throws everything at the wall to see what sticks: it’s like the hundred monkeys taking a toilet break from their hundred typewriters. I had a wonderful time.

Continue reading “Beverley Hills Christmas 2 (2018, dir. Christian Filippella)” 토토사이트 아수라|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 토토사이트 아수라|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 토토사이트 아수라|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

Continue reading “Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)” 토토사이트 아수라|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 토토사이트 아수라|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

Continue reading “A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)” 토토사이트 아수라|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 토토사이트 아수라|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

Continue reading “A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)” 토토사이트 아수라|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 토토사이트 아수라|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

Continue reading “My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)” 토토사이트 아수라|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 토토사이트 아수라|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

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