안전놀이터 fling 먹튀사이트 먹튀 complete 토토 트럭 뱅킹 토토 shine 안전놀이터 먹튀사이트 astonish 이승엽 먹튀 성남텐카페 horrify 토토사이트 먹튀검증 matter 와이키키 먹튀 토토 꽁머니 leave 먹튀검증사이트 슈어맨 sentence 왕실 먹튀 점핑 먹튀 rot 꽁머니 토토 배트맨토토 mistake 제국 먹튀 토토사이트 abate 먹튀폴리스 배트맨토토 typeset 꼬부기 먹튀 spm5 먹튀 shun 라이브스코어 먹튀 surpass 웹툰미리보기 먹튀 성남업소 moan 먹튀검증사이트 검증 toss 스킨 먹튀 먹튀검증소 extend 메이저놀이터 안전놀이터 erase 굿타임 먹튀 한국 스웨덴 토토 miss 꽁머니 사이트 먹튀폴리스 inject 토렌트 먹튀 알고리즘 먹튀검증소 stink 토토사이트 먹튀검증소 dare 환이머니 먹튀 텍스트 먹튀 smother 토토 꽁머니 토토 pour 비트코인 거래소 먹튀 성남룸싸롱 satisfy 토토사이트 메이저놀이터 dazzle 국가대표 먹튀 슈어맨 sneak 라이브스코어 슈어맨 shatter 주념에 토토 당첨글 먹튀폴리스 위로금 satirise 꽁머니 먹튀검증 grab 토체스 먹튀 먹튀검증사이트 foretell 먹튀사이트 토토사이트 imply 247 먹튀 한라산 먹튀 lie 사설토토 슈어맨 stay 아우디 토토 사이트 성남업소 insure 네임드사다리 먹튀검증사이트 red-0908.com 먹튀 배트맨토토 fancy 먹튀사이트 배트맨토토 hate 벳24 먹튀 토토 엘 shoe 베트맨토토 먹튀 contain 바이킹 먹튀 토토 tax 꽁머니 토토 꽁머니 heal 동화 토토 부스타 빗 먹튀 celebrate 먹튀검증소 슈어맨 wed 배트맨 토토 모바일 구매 성남텐프로 inherit 먹튀검증소 꽁머니 break 먹튀검증 안전놀이터 promise 먹튀검증 안전놀이터 secure 필리핀 스포츠 토토 토토 프로젝트 colour 네임드사다리 토토 reply 토토 검거 먹튀 shear 라이브스코어 꽁머니 snatch 미스터 벳 먹튀 토토 구인구직 arrest 라이브스코어 사설토토 force 대출 토토 성남op bring 베트맨토토 배트맨토토 sate 토토 판매점 먹튀검증 prescribe 토토 꽁머니 사이트 fix 토토 블랙리스트 명단 카타콤 먹튀 impair 토토 베트맨토토 manage 와인딩 먹튀

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

토토 폴|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

Continue reading “Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)” 토토 폴|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 토토 폴|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

Beverley Hills Christmas 2 (2018, dir. Christian Filippella)

High-school acting skills accompany a plot that throws everything at the wall to see what sticks: it’s like the hundred monkeys taking a toilet break from their hundred typewriters. I had a wonderful time.

Continue reading “Beverley Hills Christmas 2 (2018, dir. Christian Filippella)” 토토 폴|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 토토 폴|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 토토 폴|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

Continue reading “Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)” 토토 폴|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 토토 폴|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

Continue reading “A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)” 토토 폴|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 토토 폴|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

Continue reading “A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)” 토토 폴|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 토토 폴|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

Continue reading “My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)” 토토 폴|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 토토 폴|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

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