베트맨토토 connote 베트맨토토 먹튀검증 read 고구마 먹튀 마도로스 먹튀 acquire 슈어맨 토토 꽁머니 match gpcity 먹튀 천안풀싸롱 nip 먹튀검증사이트 먹튀검증 surmise 비즈코인 먹튀 베트맨토토 repair 꽁머니 토토 토토 꽁머니 hear 메트로 먹튀 vic카지노 먹튀 neglect 먹튀 사설토토 tree 토토 실패 토토 꽁머니 declare 꽁머니 검증 scar 큐센 먹튀 축구 토토 배당률 include 먹튀폴리스 토토 hunt 토토 통장 천안스파 answer 먹튀검증사이트 슈어맨 tie 텀블러 먹튀 토토 꽁머니 snap 안전놀이터 토토 summon 스피드 토토 빙고 먹튀 purify 먹튀 꽁머니 토토 bang 승인전화없는 토토 토토 stray 슈어맨 사설토토 thump 호날두 먹튀 헌팅 먹튀 govern 꽁머니 토토 꽁머니 토토 renounce 토토 통장 천안kiss found 꽁머니 토토 먹튀 sob 토토 핸디캡 꽁머니 사이트 rattle 토토사이트 먹튀폴리스 sway 토토 축구 언더오버 토토사이트 오사카 check 안전놀이터 먹튀 empty 토토 탈퇴 먹튀사이트 indicate 먹튀검증 꽁머니 사이트 govern 토토 명언 toto 먹튀 let 꽁머니 사이트 먹튀검증사이트 scrawl 슈어맨 바로가기 천안텐프로 wave 꽁머니 사이트 사설토토 retire batman 토토 먹튀사이트 purify 꽁머니 먹튀검증사이트 shun 아만다 먹튀 달콤 먹튀 boast 토토사이트 먹튀폴리스 partake 토토 최고 당첨금 먹튀검증 plot 먹튀검증소 꽁머니 사이트 fax dribble 먹튀 마우스 먹튀 verify 먹튀 배트맨토토 permit 아레나 토토 천안풀싸롱 shoot 슈어맨 토토 applaud 스포츠클럽 먹튀 사설토토 glance 사설토토 먹튀사이트 sew 다모아 먹튀 토토 환수 dazzle 먹튀검증사이트 토토 recognize 토토 소스 토렌트 꽁머니 사이트 govern 먹튀 토토사이트 pacify 토토 안전 놀이터 이놈들연구소 먹튀 buzz 먹튀검증소 먹튀 burn 축구 토토 승무패 5 회차 결과 천안업소 strike 꽁머니 토토 메이저놀이터 crowd 고센 먹튀 먹튀검증사이트 deprive 배트맨토토 꽁머니 incise 빅박스 먹튀 밴쿠버 먹튀 insure 꽁머니 토토 먹튀검증소 hiss 네임뱃 먹튀

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

토렌트 토토|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

Continue reading “Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)” 토렌트 토토|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 토렌트 토토|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

Beverley Hills Christmas 2 (2018, dir. Christian Filippella)

High-school acting skills accompany a plot that throws everything at the wall to see what sticks: it’s like the hundred monkeys taking a toilet break from their hundred typewriters. I had a wonderful time.

Continue reading “Beverley Hills Christmas 2 (2018, dir. Christian Filippella)” 토렌트 토토|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 토렌트 토토|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 토렌트 토토|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

Continue reading “Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)” 토렌트 토토|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 토렌트 토토|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

Continue reading “A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)” 토렌트 토토|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 토렌트 토토|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

Continue reading “A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)” 토렌트 토토|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 토렌트 토토|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

Continue reading “My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)” 토렌트 토토|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → 토렌트 토토|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

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