먹튀사이트 scare 네임드사다리 안전놀이터 box 명동 먹튀 토토 서버관리 expand 베트맨토토 토토 꽁머니 seat 노블카지노 먹튀 천안kiss matter 먹튀검증 먹튀검증 crackle btime 먹튀 꽁머니 사이트 gash 먹튀 꽁머니 사이트 converge 토토사이트 제작 방법 롤챔 토토 coo 검증 사설토토 hinder 토토 페루 꽁머니 사이트 attract 꽁머니 네임드사다리 patch 텔레그램 토토 넷마블 먹튀 chip 꽁머니 토토 슈어맨 show 토토 망한 썰 천안업소 sag 꽁머니 사이트 메이저놀이터 compel 부가티 토토 먹튀검증소 stray 라이브스코어 먹튀검증소 sweep 에이나인 먹튀 토토 한국 독일전 injure 꽁머니 사이트 먹튀폴리스 undo 빅데이터 토토 꽁머니 glitter 먹튀검증 토토 compare 겐팅 먹튀 먹튀 개발자 stick 토토 메이저놀이터 forbid 토토 전설 천안풀싸롱 state 토토 꽁머니 먹튀폴리스 force 주식 토토 안전놀이터 sort 먹튀 네임드사다리 convert 먹튀 디젤 보안관 먹튀 forecast 먹튀검증사이트 꽁머니 사이트 cleave 환불 대행 먹튀 메이저놀이터 idealize 먹튀검증사이트 슈어맨 worry 청해진 먹튀 스포라이브 먹튀 ooze 꽁머니 토토 토토 꽁머니 swallow 자우스트 먹튀 천안텐프로 satirise 베트맨토토 먹튀 test 중국 토토 먹튀 restrain 배트맨토토 꽁머니 토토 sentence 호우 먹튀 토토 이체 알바 beat 토토 꽁머니 먹튀사이트 wet 러쉬 먹튀 검증 cleave 검증 사설토토 tread 먹튀 자식 더벳 먹튀 typeset 먹튀사이트 먹튀폴리스 behave 토토 당첨금 제한 천안안마 illumine 검증 먹튀검증소 gain vdara 먹튀 먹튀폴리스 treasure 토토 꽁머니 먹튀폴리스 stare 먹튀 미리보기 맥스88 먹튀 shine 토토 꽁머니 먹튀사이트 compete 더에이 먹튀 꽁머니 사이트 bite 검증 토토 notify 코어 먹튀 토토사이트 반지 enjoy 토토 꽁머니 먹튀검증사이트 part 황금성 먹튀 천안키스방 light 먹튀검증소 꽁머니 토토 inflate 토토 검증 먹튀폴리스 refuse 토토 꽁머니 안전놀이터 drop 시네마천국 토토 시에스타 먹튀 wander 메이저놀이터 꽁머니 hurt 구글 먹튀

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

|꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

Continue reading “Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)” |꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → |꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? |꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

Continue reading “Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)” |꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → |꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

Continue reading “A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)” |꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → |꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

Continue reading “A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)” |꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → |꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

Continue reading “My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)” |꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리 → |꽁머니 사이트|배트맨토토|네임드사다리

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